Today I’m getting slightly off track because I need to rant and, well, it’s my blog so I’m going to go for it!
Ok, first off, maybe four weddings is an exaggeration… I have three to go to in the next month. And maybe it’s not really going to be my funeral, but it sure feels like it!
Here’s the problem…
Wedding number one is out-of-town – it’s in the big city… New York City. I hate the big city. I’m a suburbs kind of guy. I don’t care for the hustle-bustle of big cities like Chicago and, even though I haven’t been there before, I’m going to assume NYC as well. Now, I know a lot of you live for the big city and think it’s wonderful and that’s fine… but it’s just not my thing.
However, I’m going because it’s family. In fact, the bride is basically like a little sister to me.
- Flights for my wife, daughter, and lil’ ol’ me… $468
- Airport parking… $45
- Lodging – this one’s a whole different story, but whatever… $697
- Taxis / Uber… guessing around $200 when all is said and done
- Dining, Sightseeing, etc…. we’ll say $400
- Wedding gift (I’m sure this will be debated, but try to remember how close we are)… $200
Estimated grand total… $2,010. What the??!!! This is just a long weekend – how the $%^ did that happen?!! I’m the most conscientious person when it comes to money and suddenly I’m dropping over $2K for a place I’m not even excited to be! This will definitely be a one-time event, but it’s something that I need to do to support family.
In addition to that, we’re flying into New York City on 9/11… ouch. Some people think that might be the SAFEST day to fly into New York. Guess I’ll be finding out shortly.
The final bit of contention with this wedding is all the animosity and other fun with my extended family. I won’t go into it or we’d be here for days – and I know all families have some kind of drama – but the Italian side of my family is beyond incomprehensible.
So this wedding is the bulk of what’s been on my mind and also what has caused me to get about six hours sleep across the past three nights… but I thought I’d throw in my thoughts on the other weddings I have coming up since I’m on a roll.
The other two weddings I have coming up are for friends that are in their forties. Look, I’m going to take care of them and write them each a decent check, but really, this is a pet peeve of mine. Wedding gifts originated with the intent that when couples got married, they were young and needed… well, stuff. They needed stuff to get their lives going, to furnish the new house, get ready for the babies that were going to come along soon, and all that other jazz.
But when you’re in your forties, you’re usually pretty established as to where you are in life, especially in middle-class families. My check and everyone else’s just get traded back and forth with each wedding that comes along.
One of the guys is on his second marriage. And again, I might be cheap, but I’m not when it comes to wedding gifts and tipping, and this won’t be an exception. I was invited to the first wedding, but couldn’t make it. But let’s say I did – should I be shelling out more money a second time after the first marriage fell through? This is definitely another debatable topic (and one I highly encourage you to give thoughts on), but it’s something that I still find kind of odd.
Look – I love each of them or I wouldn’t be going to their weddings… and I’m the one choosing how much to give so that’s on me. However, as a society, I think we’re just slightly off track.
I think I’m done with weddings. I think I need to just get past the guilty feelings and start RSVP’ing “No” to a lot more of these.
True, the weddings are about the bride and groom about to make a symbol of their commitment to one another. That’s fantastic but it’s starting to stress me out.
I’m sure I’m going to get a lot of negative feedback from you guys, but I just wanted to share my thoughts… feel free to share yours as well!
Thanks for reading!