Quotes from your daughter for your blog post, Jim? Um, isn’t this a little bit of a weird post?
So, yeah… about that. Truth be told, I’ve been struggling to figure out what to write about today.
Recently, I’ve given you my 2 cents about the COVID-19/Coronavirus pandemic. I’ve also written about some random thoughts on how about how the pandemic is going in Panama and how we’re handling things. I’ve even talked about whether the recession is going to crush the FIRE movement.
What’s bothering me is that I just don’t feel right about talking too much about personal finance in the moment. With an astounding number of folks unemployed right now, most people aren’t in a position to even think about the path to financial independence.
The world is in a rough place today and a lot of people are stressed about just being able to make their mortgage payment or rent. Preaching about saving more isn’t going to help anyone right now. And talking about the moves we’ve been making personally feels selfish and arrogant.
There will be a time to get back to discussing working toward financial independence. In fact, I think the reality of how this pandemic has even crushed some of the jobs many considered to be secure will be a huge wake-up call to society. Eventually, a lot of folks will want to use this experience as a learning opportunity to get more prepared financially in the future.
But that time isn’t today.
With all the uncertainty and stress going on in a lot of our lives, I wanted to change things up for today. Even in the roughest of times, it’s important to have some fun and laugh a little bit. So instead of my normal post, I’m giving you something a little more light-hearted.
Ever since Faith was young and started talking (she’s 9 years old now), I’ve been jotting down the funny stuff that has come out of her mouth. These are 100% honest and true.
Here are some of my favorites quotes from her younger years…
Quotes from Faith at 2 years old
1) Lisa and Faith in the kitchen…
Mom: Do you need to go potty, babe?
Faith: Are you talking to me or to dad?
Quotes from Faith at 3 years old
2) When Faith was really young and saw Lisa’s bra laying out…
Faith: Is that your booby-trap?
3) Lisa and I were talking to Faith and let her know that she shouldn’t talk to strangers…
Faith (nodding excitedly): …unless they have candy!
4) We got a new TV to replace our broken one in the living room. I told Faith how it was bigger than our last one and was explaining to Lisa that she could just push the Amazon button on the remote to pull up streaming videos…
Faith: I don’t like it.
Dad: What do you mean you don’t like it… why don’t you like it?
Faith: It’s too big and it has an Amazon button.
Dad: You don’t even know what that means. The Amazon button is what lets you watch shows like Dora.
Faith: Oh… I like the new TV.
5) We were reading a book about Clifford and the fire department. It had a page on stop, drop, and roll…
Dad: That’s what you’re supposed to do if your clothes ever caught on fire to put it out.
Faith: OK… well unless they’re clothes you don’t like.
6) While reading books at night…
Dad: Let’s read this one with Gonzo first because he’s a weirdo and I like that.
Faith: I’m a weirdo… do you like me?”
7) Out of nowhere while driving with Faith in the car…
Faith: If all the lights were green, it would be a disaster.
8) Faith wanted Lisa to sing with her…
Mom: I’ll sing background and you could be the lead.
Faith: No, you sing in the front round and I’ll sing in the background.
9) Bath time…
Mom: Faith, come go to the bathroom before your bath.
Faith: I’m going potty in dad’s bathroom.
Dad (joking): Don’t be going poop in my bathroom.
Faith (casually walking by with a grin): I might be…
10) We were watching the movie “Turbo” and Turbo was struggling in the race…
Faith (all riled up): Oh, I could hit myself right now!
11) Faith was playing the Wii and got to a tough part of the game…
Mom (sarcastically): I’m scared.
Faith (with a puzzled face): Of just a video game?
12) Faith and I were listening to “Do You Want To Build A Snowman” from “Frozen” in the car…
Faith: Miss Kim has this song.
Dad: Does everybody know the words to this like you do?
Faith: A lot of the girls do… Peyton does, Cailey does, the girl that’s cuter than me does…
Dad: Wait a minute – the girl that’s cuter than you?! There’s no girl cuter than you.
Faith: Yes there is – she’s the smallest girl in the class.
13) Faith and Lisa talking…
Faith: I’m prettier than you.
Mom: Faith, that’s not nice to say.
Faith: But it’s true, right.
Mom (sighing): Yes…
14) Lisa making conversation with Faith’s cousin and Faith…
Mom: What’s your favorite food?
Mom: Faith, what’s your favorite food?
Dad: It’s true.
15) Faith kept sniffling when she woke up…
Dad: Faith, do you need a tissue?
Faith: What are you – a booger expert?!
16) Lisa was putting Faith to bed…
Mom: Faith it’s time to relax.
Faith: Mom, if we ever go to an octopus’ house, I’m going to wear black and white.
A couple of minutes later…
Faith: An octopus’ tentacles are slimy, right?
Mom: I don’t know… why?
Faith: Cuz if the slime from the tentacles gets on me, I won’t care because those are the colors I don’t like.
17) Out of nowhere, while driving in the car…
Faith: I think I can talk in Japanese.
Dad: Really? What can you say?
Quiet for a few seconds and then…
Faith: I forget.
18) My daughter hasn’t seen me pee since she was probably one. She was standing outside the bathroom waiting for me (I had my back to her)…
Dad (looking over my shoulder): Girls pee sitting down and boys pee standing up.
Faith: Yeah, you have to pull on that big thing for the pee to come out.
Quotes from Faith at 4 years old
19) We were at the horse show when they announced that the food tent was now open and, of course, Faith wanted to go…
Mom: We’ll go there in a little bit.
After a few minutes…
Mom: Look how pretty those horses are…
Faith (without missing a beat): Look how pretty the food tent is.
We took the hint and got food.
20) Faith left her headband on the floor and Lisa stepped on it and broke it…
Faith: You need to buy me a new one.
Mom: You left it on the floor so you should buy the new one.
Faith: You have to buy it.
Mom: Maybe we could split the cost.
Faith: Nope… I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way.
21) After a few hours of me playing tackle football with my cousins…
Faith: Dad, will you put me on your shoulders?
Dad: I can’t – I’m really sore from playing football with everyone.
Faith: Ok… maybe tomorrow when we get home you should just sit in your chair all day and relax and watch TV… like football!
Mom (in disbelief at what she just heard): What the heck??!! What about me?!
Faith: Well… you can play with me all day!
22) Getting ready in the morning to leave, Faith wanted to take a dry/erase board in the car with her to write on for the drive…
Dad: Sure you can take that with you… oh, wait – you won’t be able to see it in the car because it’s dark out.
Faith: I can see… I have night vision, Dad.
Dad: Well, Ok then – we’ll bring it with us!
23) Faith and I were in the car driving…
Dad: You’ll like the next song coming up…
Faith: How do you know which song is coming on next?
Dad: Because it’s not the radio – it’s on my flash drive so I already know the music that’s on there.
Faith: Where’s my flash drive?
Dad: It’s in the drawer over here…
Faith (excited): You have a drawer??!!! You have the best car ever!!!
24) In the car with Faith with the radio on…
Dad: Guess what – the name of this band is Blind Faith.
Faith: Did you say “Faith”?
Faith (pretends to faint): I must be in heaven. Somebody pinch me… I must be dreaming!
25) Putting on my new shoes…
Dad: Check out these new shoes, Faith… look, you can see my toes wiggle in them.
Faith: That’s because they’re cheap.
26) While driving to my parents’ house listening to “Puff, the Magic Dragon” on the radio…
Faith: Dad, dragons were never real – they’re not like dinosaurs that used to be here.
Dad: You’re right…
Faith (sad): I never got to see dinosaurs and now they’re gone.
Dad: Well, dinosaurs lived millions of years ago. That’s more than a hundred, or a thousand, or even a hundred thousand years – it was over a million years ago! That’s a long time ago.
Faith: I bet mom got to see ’em…
27) While getting out of the car, Lisa dropped a bag…
Mom: Oh, shit… shoot!
Faith: You said shit-shoot.
Mom (calmly): Well, you know why I said shoot right after the other word is because the other word is not nice to say.
Faith: SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!!!
Faith: Mom, I’m going upstairs…
Mom: For what?
Faith: To go potty.
A little bit later she comes back down…
Faith (very sad): I’m so sorry… I lied to you.
Mom: What did you lie about?
Faith: I didn’t go up to go to the bathroom, I went up to get dressed. Will you forgive me?
29) Rehashing the previous day with friends and family while on a cruise…
Jim: Well, we missed the liquor tasting last night…
Jim: What?! You can’t even have liquor – liquor is alcohol.
Faith: Ohhh… I thought you said “licorice tasting”!
30) Returning to our cabin after a late dinner while on a cruise…
Faith (sad): Everyone dressed up for tonight except for me.
Jim: We all dressed up but you always look beautiful.
Faith: Well, you guys are all dressed up and I have this hole [she sticks her finger in a hole in the crotch of her pants that we weren’t aware of] and nobody cared… NOBODY CARED!!!
31) Faith opened a Christmas card from her aunt and uncle. Apparently, she was expecting something in it like money. She immediately tossed it on the floor…
Faith: Well, that was bust.
Then she walked away.
32) We were playing every parent’s favorite game: “let’s see who can NOT talk the longest.” Faith had a tendency to lose at this game. We went about a minute and then…
Faith: Yes, because I want to tell you guys something!
33) Lisa and Faith were getting Faith ready for bed. Faith was taking off her pants to get her pajamas on and her panties came down with them. She started climbing up into our bed naked…
Mom: Faith, what are you doing?! Get your panties on!
Faith: Wait, Mom, wait… I’m going to rub my butt all over Dad’s pillow!
34) From out of nowhere…
Faith: I wanna use sar-casm.
Faith: I wanna use sar-casm.
Dad: Do you know what sarcasm is?
Faith: Yes… it’s when you say one thing but mean something else.
Faith: Mom! I wanna be sar-casm and Dad’s not letting me!
35) Faith was climbing at the playground…
Dad: Holy cow… you’re like a monkey!
Faith: I am.. I am a monkey. No, I really am… I just have a girl suit on!
Dad: Will you come sit up here on the couch with me?
Faith: Of course, I will… snap out of it, kid!
37) Lisa was teasing Faith in the car…
Faith (waving her fists in the air and joking): You’re going to get a visit from Mr. Fist and Mrs. First!
38) While reading “The Daddy Book,” they talked about the different jobs that dads do…
Mom: What does your dad do?
Faith: Works with computers.
Dad: I’m a manager.
Faith: A manager?! You’re not even a man!
39) We were getting ready to leave and I didn’t have pants on yet…
Dad: I’m going to wear my underpants and tell everyone I’m Faith’s dad…
Faith: Yeah, and they’ll say, “it can’t be because she’s the coolest person in town” and I’ll say, “RIGHT!!”
40) Faith was reaching to grab a giant handful of chips before leaving a party late at night…
Faith (disgruntled): Alright, man!
41) Trying to get Faith excited while we were on our way to Sesame Place…
Dad: I can’t wait to see Grover! He’s my favorite! I’m going to get a picture with him!
Faith: Um, you know he’s just a guy in a costume, right?
That’s it for today, my friends! I hope some of these quotes from Faith helped to brighten your day just a little.
Somehow I have too many of these quotes saved up in a few Google Keep notes. So, if you enjoyed these, you’ll want to check out my next post from ages 5 through 9 in 46 More Unforgettable Quotes from My Daughter [Part 2]!
Stay safe everyone!
Thanks for reading!!
15 thoughts on “41 Unforgettable Quotes from My Daughter [Part 1]”
“Yeah, you have to pull on that big thing for the pee to come out.”
Did you REALLY just put that on your blog!? Thanks for the laughs today, awesome that you wrote all of those down. Faith certainly has a future as a comedian…
Haha, you know couth isn’t one of my strong suits! 😉 Looking forward to reading your new book, Fritz… I just got finished with chapter 1 – so far so good!
Wow, she’s adorable. My kids were hilarious at that age too. One slight word of preparation, when they are that good with sarcasm and innuendo at her age…well, just hunker down for when another four years pass and she’s thirteen! It’s not that she will stop being so funny, its just that for some reason parents start to lose their sense of humor when their kids become teens. But relax, it is only temporary. My kids are hilarious (adults) again!
Ugh, 13 is the age I’m nervous about. I’m glad to hear that it’ll just be temporary. That’s great that your kids are funny now as adults – I truly think that’s one of the most important traits in life! 🙂
Thank you for posting it. My girlfriend and I enjoyed reading the quotes. Many of them made us laugh. My girlfriend said she feels a deep bond with your daughter after #3, #14, and #19 🙂
You did brighten our day, yet another under a 24-hour curfew…
Glad you enjoyed it, Martin – she’s something (as are most kids!). Your girlfriend related to all the quotes about eating – is she a foodie! 🙂
Kids say the darnedest things! Thanks for a good laugh. She really is a precocious kid!
They do – I’m sure you have some great ones from your kids, too!
Shit, these are hilarious. Oh, I mean shoot. LOL
Haha, love it, Bonnie!! 🙂
These are great. Nice job getting them down. We forgot most of the funny things our son said already. 🙁
Yeah, I was afraid of forgetting the things that made us laugh so I just started to jot them down as she said them over the years. I’m sure some are funnier to us than everyone, but still thought I’d share.
Enjoy the rest of your week, Joe!
So good! What a smart idea to write them down so you don’t forget them. We only have a few things we remember from each kid. (So many kids!)
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks, Aaron – I have the worst memory so this was my best shot at keeping some memories alive! 😉 I don’t know how I’d do it with 4 kids (I think that’s how many you have, right?)!
Yep. We’ve got 4. And trust me, my memory has gotten steadily worse with each one. Haha!